Thursday, September 17, 2009

Little Pieces



















































































































Well, Julie is here, the dinners keep coming, and yet Suzy's belly is somehow contracting (-- mine's expanding, if you're wondering). I'm finishing my second week back to work since the kids arrived and I am pretty consistently tired, though still able to pour it into my students. Suzy and I have been sticking to our schedule and plan, and have had, so far, only one or two unexpectedly rocky nights (--all other nights, of course, are expectedly rocky). We have no illusions about the looming difficulties, but, as is the continually necessary mode of our thinking, each day at a time, bridges as we come to them, love, appreciate, breathe, and presently all things seem and are do-able.
Oh, but the babies are changing so quickly--each moment like a beautiful vista you're driving pass at top speed. Scout must have her arms out of swaddle in order to sleep now, Charlie smiles when you stroke your finger across his hairline, and Kiefer--he pees on his own head--out of spite!
...Oh, blast this memory. I remember regretting how I missed this or that photo op in Africa--remember cursing the camera for it's slow shutter speed. At the very least, I was glad I saw what I saw, and I went to work every night recording it in my journal so I would never forget it. But what's Africa and all its teeming, flying life--what's Europe Asia Australia--what's the whole universe of wonders to see compared to the pace of the flowing miracle of these three miniature joys? Maybe if I were some genius, some Davinci or Shakespeare, I could remember half of all I would love to share with you. But, no, my pen, my mind, my eye, even, often cannot keep up with these three, and now I go to work to wonder how much more of infinity I am missing...
But cest la via. I don't mean to complain. I love my work too, and am terrifically fortunate in that, and I have no constitution for hating necessity; but still I wonder, and wonder, and wonder. And Suzy is just as amazing as the children, a radiant glory--a character as large as any I could find in the masterpieces I read and teach by day--my own Juliet, and so much more. Yes, I wonder after Suzy too. --But why am I telling you this???
The point is, here are some more pictures. I call them little pieces--pieces of a puzzle I won't ever see in its entirety--none of us, not even a Davinci, could ever see it all--but they are also hints to that entirety--hints to the great miracle of which we are all a part--they are reminders of that endless cause for gratitude. At base, we love life--we all must love it--to live is to love, and these three little masters teach me that every day.

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